Just Simply Jen

Today was a decent day. I have new neighbors. I met the husband and he seemed nice enough. His wife was taking a nap, but I hope to meet her soon. I finally took my Christmas tree out to the outdoor storage closet. OMG that thing was heavy. There is a reason it has the team lifting warning on it. I stood it up on one end and sort of scooted it out there. I'm just glad I won't be tripping over it anymore and my son won't be using it as a balance beam.
I will be more than happy when this cold is gone. I get zapped of energy so easily and now I'm losing my voice. That is so not a good thing with spaz child running around. There have been a few times a day every day this week that I thought my head would fall off and part of me wished it would. I know it would be better if I took some cold meds, but I don't know of one that doesn't make me totally drowsy and I can't do that. Thankfully my son has been a lot better behaved this week and that has been a tremendous help.
My husband called me today. I was extremely shocked as it was 4 in the morning where he is and I was not expecting to hear from him. We were able to speak for about 30 minutes. It wasn't our most pleasant conversation. I was a little cranky for some reason at one point. I think it was when he said he felt really bad for our son for having to deal with it. I wanted to snap back "at least you don't' have to see it on a daily basis" I didn't though. It's so hard to watch my son missing his best friend so much. He is being so strong but I know it's been very hard for him. I keep fussing at my husband telling him he needs to do something for my son. Draw him pictures, send him a card..something. He says he knows but he ends up not doing it and that annoys me. I think that is why I was a little snippy. It didn't last but for a few minutes.
He seemed worried about me. Earlier this week his CO told him that his wife said I wasn't asking for help when I needed it and now his CO is concerned that I am secluding myself and wonders how I am going tom ake it through this. I told my husband that what others perceive as seclusion is just me. I'm not a social butterfly. I don't need a lot of people around me to be happy. I reassured him today that I am fine. I have asked for help when I have needed it and I'm going to meetings and things like that. He knows me better than to be so worried. Maybe he was having an off day or upset because I have a cold. I don't know. I just hope I was able to reassure him enough. Overall he is doing great. He misses us and on days like today I can tell it's really getting to him, but he is doing so amazingly well. He is absolutely loving his job and that is something new for him. He is looking into taking classes and I really hope that works out for him. He was only a year away from getting a bachelors in liberal arts with a focus on theology. He is looking into Liberty University now and if he goes through them he will get a Bachelors in Religion. I really think he will take it further at some point and get a masters in divinity. I don't know if he wants to become an ordained minister anymore or what he is thinking. I know he is seriously considering being career military, but I don't know how he is planning to do that. If he is planning on staying enlisted and keeping the MOS he has now or once he gets his degree and credentials, trying to go officer. I know he is really doing a lot of thinking and praying about that and we are taking it one step at a time. Right now he is going for the first degree.
I honestly hope that all works out because I feel so guilty about him not getting it done when he should have. He was still in school when we first married. I worked a and he went to school in the mornings and worked some in the evenings. When I had my miscarriage, I had a lot of issues and I ended up not working for a month or so. Even when I went back to work it was hard, but he was still in school. He didn't do well that semester because of dealing with that and the fact that I became pregnant during that semester and was so sick I had to quit working. He never went back after that semester. We just could never afford it and then we moved and it was like he totally put it out of his head. When he was considering joining the military, this was one of the big selling points for me. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to get his degree and that this would give us the means to help make that happen. Now I hope it does. I want that dream of his to happen for him. After all, he is the only person in my life who has ever truly loved me unconditionally. Who has never made me feel like he would love me more if I did just one thing differently. He accepts me quirks and all and is crazy about me. I never in my wildest dreams imagined this type of love really existed so I feel pretty special to have it.