Here is some pictures to start the day.
It's 5 am and I have yet to sleep. I'm so tired and of course my son is awake. Oh well. I will deal with it and face the day.
Here is some pictures to start the day.
Here is some pictures to start the day.
Here are some pictures from our camping trip. Only one is from the actual camping part. I forgot to take pictures most of the time.
Some more of me playing.
I downloaded a new program last night and I've been playing with some pictures. It's lots of fun and I thought I would share some of it. You might think some of them are just silly but I'm having a blast.
Don't know how accurate some of this is, but I thought I'd put it up here anyway. Yep. I'm bored.
I was finally able to get a little sleep but I had to take something to do so. Of course this has left me entirely too sleepy today. Hopefully tomorrow will be much better.
Only a week and half until we go on our marriage retreat. I have high hopes for this retreat. Hopefully I won't regret it. My biggest concern is that my husband will end up spending the majority of the retreat working. Due to the nature of his job, it is very much a possibility. I told him that if he was just going to work then I wasn't even going to be going. It has to be about us and not his job. We aren't one of the couples that is having serious issues, but we aren't where we were before. We are good but not great and I want us to get back to very good at least. This retreat is supposed to help with that. The military has been doing everything possible to make this family reintegration as difficult as possible. I just want one night where they don't. I'm really close to becoming a serious cynic.
On a happy note, the sky was looking so awesome an hour ago. Part of it was all sunny and then part was really dark. Dark skies are different here because thunderstorms are very rare. It usually just means some rain might fall, but it is so beautiful. Hubby is home and playing with my son and I just took a veggie lasagna out of the oven. It smells yummy. I hope everyone else is having a wonderful evening.
Only a week and half until we go on our marriage retreat. I have high hopes for this retreat. Hopefully I won't regret it. My biggest concern is that my husband will end up spending the majority of the retreat working. Due to the nature of his job, it is very much a possibility. I told him that if he was just going to work then I wasn't even going to be going. It has to be about us and not his job. We aren't one of the couples that is having serious issues, but we aren't where we were before. We are good but not great and I want us to get back to very good at least. This retreat is supposed to help with that. The military has been doing everything possible to make this family reintegration as difficult as possible. I just want one night where they don't. I'm really close to becoming a serious cynic.
On a happy note, the sky was looking so awesome an hour ago. Part of it was all sunny and then part was really dark. Dark skies are different here because thunderstorms are very rare. It usually just means some rain might fall, but it is so beautiful. Hubby is home and playing with my son and I just took a veggie lasagna out of the oven. It smells yummy. I hope everyone else is having a wonderful evening.
It's just after midnight and I can't sleep. I'm tired but I can't get my mind to stop turning. I wish it would just stop. Memories. They haunt me when I would rather forget them all together. I wish I could erase them as if they never happened, but then so much good would have to be forgotten with them. They chase me in my dreams and when I am awake. What I would love to do is to spill them all once and for all, but I am afraid to look at them in the light of day. I have been able to numb the pain. When I look back it is usually with a cold heart but sometimes the littlest bit of feeling seeps in and I grow afraid. That is why I keep them hidden. Most of the ones that are the deepest hurts are the ones that very few know about. I'm not sure how some would react to them. I'm not sure how I would. All I know is I want to be left alone. Left to my future where they don't exist anymore. I want my happiness without the past sneaking in and stealing moments from it. It's over with. I can't change it. I wouldn't even know where to start. Why can't you just leave me alone? Stop haunting me. Especially since I know that to you I don't exist anymore. I wish I could say the same. Just go away please. I need sleep.
I'm sorry if I've just made everyone think I'm insane. Maybe I am. All I know is I can't sleep and I feel so trapped. Hopefully I'll look less crazy in the light of day.
I'm sorry if I've just made everyone think I'm insane. Maybe I am. All I know is I can't sleep and I feel so trapped. Hopefully I'll look less crazy in the light of day.
| Your Dosha is Vata |
 Creative and restless, you take in all of life's pleasures (maybe a little too much!). You're quick witted and very talkative, but you also tend to have a spotty memory. You tend to get very into ideas, people, and lifestyles... but only for a short time. It's difficult to hold your attention, and you sometimes feel with what life has to offer. With friends: You are very uncomfortable in new situations or with new people In love: You fall in and out of love very easily To achieve more balance: Live in a warm climate and spend some quiet time in nature |
I have no idea what a Dosha is, but I did the quiz out of curiosity. The only part that really didn't sound like me is the falling out of love easily. That is certainly not true. I have no idea if I'm quick witted, but the rest of the stuff was pretty on the mark. Now if I could only figure out what it was??
First off I want to yell at the top of my lungs "PLEASE MAKE THE ITCHING STOP!!!!!"
This weekends camping adventure left me with a sunburn. While I'm thrilled it doesn't sting anymore, the extreme itching is making me a little nuts. I had forgotten how bad a sunburn could itch. My husband has to be getting tired of me asking him to scratch my back every time I see him.
The camping was a ton of fun. I really loved the place we went camping. The campsites are very affordable and they had bathrooms and showers near by. next time I want to be a little closer to the beach, but we did wait until the last minute to make the reservations so I am certainly not complaining. The beach was easily within walking distance. We had so much fun making smores and just being with each other. I had bought an over sized camp chair for me but it was loved by everyone and I sat it in less than most. My sister seemed to claim it for herself and I didn't have the heart to kick her pregnant butt out of it. My favorite part of the trip was after the sun went down and the stars came out. My son would come climb in my lap and we would spend time looking at the stars. I think we will be repeating that experience here at home as much as possible.
My poor son was coughing when we picked him up from school Friday and just seemed to get worse. He has a nasty little cold but was so amazing this weekend and had a lot of fun.
Saturday afternoon we went to the beach. I have some pictures I'll put up later. It was so much fun. Since we moved here, I've only been in the water maybe twice where the water was higher than my knees. The beach we go to usually is very rocky and my ankle usually gets all twisted and feet cut up. The waves are also so violent I can't keep my feet. The beach where we were was so amazing!!! The bottom was all sand. Soft wonderful sand. There were some nice sized waves but they were the kind you have fun jumping over and even occasionally getting smacked in the back of the head with. If you lost footing, it was easy to regain and we just had a blast. My son spent the entire time in my husband's arms because he is so small but they still had a blast. He would keep saying "I'll save you, Mommy. Take my hand and I'll save you." It was so sweet. As of now, the plan is to head back to the beach next Saturday morning to spend the day out there. I'm really looking forward to it!
Today is our recovery day. Well, for me and my son it is. My husband had to go back to work. My son is out of school for the next two weeks because of spring break. Right now he is laying around because he is tired and I am not going to complain. So far my plans for the week are to clean my house, wash the tons of laundry I have waiting and move the furniture in my living room. The damp Hawaii air and my couch being between two windows are just not a good combination. Hopefully my son will feel better so I can make play dates with some of the kids in the neighborhood for him and we can spend some time on the playground and making driveway art. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. I'm hoping that one day my husband will be able to get off early enough that we can go see some sea turtles. There is a spot I've been wanting to go to for a very long time now that is popular with sea turtles.
For now I'm going to be content to relax. Have to take advantage of the moment. Hope everyone's week is off to a good start.
This weekends camping adventure left me with a sunburn. While I'm thrilled it doesn't sting anymore, the extreme itching is making me a little nuts. I had forgotten how bad a sunburn could itch. My husband has to be getting tired of me asking him to scratch my back every time I see him.
The camping was a ton of fun. I really loved the place we went camping. The campsites are very affordable and they had bathrooms and showers near by. next time I want to be a little closer to the beach, but we did wait until the last minute to make the reservations so I am certainly not complaining. The beach was easily within walking distance. We had so much fun making smores and just being with each other. I had bought an over sized camp chair for me but it was loved by everyone and I sat it in less than most. My sister seemed to claim it for herself and I didn't have the heart to kick her pregnant butt out of it. My favorite part of the trip was after the sun went down and the stars came out. My son would come climb in my lap and we would spend time looking at the stars. I think we will be repeating that experience here at home as much as possible.
My poor son was coughing when we picked him up from school Friday and just seemed to get worse. He has a nasty little cold but was so amazing this weekend and had a lot of fun.
Saturday afternoon we went to the beach. I have some pictures I'll put up later. It was so much fun. Since we moved here, I've only been in the water maybe twice where the water was higher than my knees. The beach we go to usually is very rocky and my ankle usually gets all twisted and feet cut up. The waves are also so violent I can't keep my feet. The beach where we were was so amazing!!! The bottom was all sand. Soft wonderful sand. There were some nice sized waves but they were the kind you have fun jumping over and even occasionally getting smacked in the back of the head with. If you lost footing, it was easy to regain and we just had a blast. My son spent the entire time in my husband's arms because he is so small but they still had a blast. He would keep saying "I'll save you, Mommy. Take my hand and I'll save you." It was so sweet. As of now, the plan is to head back to the beach next Saturday morning to spend the day out there. I'm really looking forward to it!
Today is our recovery day. Well, for me and my son it is. My husband had to go back to work. My son is out of school for the next two weeks because of spring break. Right now he is laying around because he is tired and I am not going to complain. So far my plans for the week are to clean my house, wash the tons of laundry I have waiting and move the furniture in my living room. The damp Hawaii air and my couch being between two windows are just not a good combination. Hopefully my son will feel better so I can make play dates with some of the kids in the neighborhood for him and we can spend some time on the playground and making driveway art. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. I'm hoping that one day my husband will be able to get off early enough that we can go see some sea turtles. There is a spot I've been wanting to go to for a very long time now that is popular with sea turtles.
For now I'm going to be content to relax. Have to take advantage of the moment. Hope everyone's week is off to a good start.
My son is about to get a two weeks off of school and I was hoping that my husband would be able to take a few days off of work so we could go camping. No such luck. Instead we are going camping this weekend. I know I should be glad that we get to go at all, but I am disappointed. I really wanted us to have a few days with no worries to just be a family. I feel like I'm doing what I always have to do. Squeezing in a little family time in the midst of the all consuming military life. Three days..that's all I'm asking for people. Three days. I'm tired of feeling like I'm asking too much by just asking for that.
eh...I'll get over it. I always do. One of these days I'll hopefully get to the point where I'm no longer disappointed by things like this.
Oh and I found out today that I won't be getting to go to the ball in May. I am really disappointed. I was looking forward to getting to be a princess for a night. At least I already have my prince, even if he'll be gone for the month. It will be another Mother's Day and Anniversary alone, but that part I'm really used to. At least this year he'll be home a day after our anniversary. Every other year it's been months. Gotta love this military life.
A funny bit of military routine where my hubby is. I'm not sure if it's Army policy or just the way his unit does it but, when the Commanding officer enters the building for the first time of the day and as he leaves, someone barks a command and everyone in the building stands at attention. It doesn't matter if you are in your office and can't even see. If you can hear it, you're at attention. I got to see this first hand today. It was funny. My sister and I were in my husband's office when we hear someone bark some command and my husband jump up from his seat and stand at attention. A few seconds later he mutters something about being told to carry on and sits back down. We were so confused until he explained. Gotta love someone being there to yell at everyone to pay attention to you.
eh...I'll get over it. I always do. One of these days I'll hopefully get to the point where I'm no longer disappointed by things like this.
Oh and I found out today that I won't be getting to go to the ball in May. I am really disappointed. I was looking forward to getting to be a princess for a night. At least I already have my prince, even if he'll be gone for the month. It will be another Mother's Day and Anniversary alone, but that part I'm really used to. At least this year he'll be home a day after our anniversary. Every other year it's been months. Gotta love this military life.
A funny bit of military routine where my hubby is. I'm not sure if it's Army policy or just the way his unit does it but, when the Commanding officer enters the building for the first time of the day and as he leaves, someone barks a command and everyone in the building stands at attention. It doesn't matter if you are in your office and can't even see. If you can hear it, you're at attention. I got to see this first hand today. It was funny. My sister and I were in my husband's office when we hear someone bark some command and my husband jump up from his seat and stand at attention. A few seconds later he mutters something about being told to carry on and sits back down. We were so confused until he explained. Gotta love someone being there to yell at everyone to pay attention to you.
I spent the entire weekend doing my best impersination of a patient woman and it paid off. I got the answer I needed today and it just so happend to be the one I wanted. YAY!!
I've had two nights where I actually had no trouble falling asleep without any help and slept very well through the night. That is a big deal for me. I had a hard time waking up this morning. It's not my fault the bed is so darn comfy and the rain made me just want to curl up here. The thing is, now that I'm awake, I'm not in a hurry to curl up and go back to sleep like I usually am after I get my son on his bus. I will admit that the rain has me feeling lazy a littl as well as other annoying factors, but not being exhausted is a good start.
The time change has me a little messed up. See, we don't change here so the rest of the world changes, but we don't. Doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but I am now an hour farther away from all of my friends and most of my business dealings like banking and the sort. Trying to figure out the time difference can be very confusing. Especially when you figure it out only to realize you missed that deadline by an hour. It also messed up my morning routine a little. Nothing important. It's just that every morning I would get my son on his bus and then come home and watch the last part of Charmed while I tried to wake up. I get home this morning only to realize that it's shifted and comes on an hour earlier. Like I said, nothing important, but highly annoying. I guess now I'll have to find something else to help me wake up.
I got to see my neice or nephew this weekend. My sister came and brought the ultrasound picture she had done last week. It amazed me at how much I already love that little baby. He/she is absolutely adorable and has me wrapped around their finger. Darn if I'm not easy. I will admit that it also made me ache badly for one of my own. Maybe one day I will get to be showing my own growing one off. I know that my son badly wants a little sister and I would love to indulge him. It's up to God now. I'm honestly getting into the mindset of "it's just not going to happen so I need to move on" and I don't know what to think about that. It's a self preservation thing, I know. I know that God has a reason for everything, but the Bible never said I had to like it. I certainly don't understand it. I still am struggling with a lot of bitter feelings when I see people who are treating their kids like nuisances or getting pregnant easily when they really don't need to be getting pregnant. I'll get better. I know I will. I just wish I could stop the ache.
Enough of that train of thought. I'm in a wonderful mood today and I want to keep it that way. Off to do something positive.
I've had two nights where I actually had no trouble falling asleep without any help and slept very well through the night. That is a big deal for me. I had a hard time waking up this morning. It's not my fault the bed is so darn comfy and the rain made me just want to curl up here. The thing is, now that I'm awake, I'm not in a hurry to curl up and go back to sleep like I usually am after I get my son on his bus. I will admit that the rain has me feeling lazy a littl as well as other annoying factors, but not being exhausted is a good start.
The time change has me a little messed up. See, we don't change here so the rest of the world changes, but we don't. Doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but I am now an hour farther away from all of my friends and most of my business dealings like banking and the sort. Trying to figure out the time difference can be very confusing. Especially when you figure it out only to realize you missed that deadline by an hour. It also messed up my morning routine a little. Nothing important. It's just that every morning I would get my son on his bus and then come home and watch the last part of Charmed while I tried to wake up. I get home this morning only to realize that it's shifted and comes on an hour earlier. Like I said, nothing important, but highly annoying. I guess now I'll have to find something else to help me wake up.
I got to see my neice or nephew this weekend. My sister came and brought the ultrasound picture she had done last week. It amazed me at how much I already love that little baby. He/she is absolutely adorable and has me wrapped around their finger. Darn if I'm not easy. I will admit that it also made me ache badly for one of my own. Maybe one day I will get to be showing my own growing one off. I know that my son badly wants a little sister and I would love to indulge him. It's up to God now. I'm honestly getting into the mindset of "it's just not going to happen so I need to move on" and I don't know what to think about that. It's a self preservation thing, I know. I know that God has a reason for everything, but the Bible never said I had to like it. I certainly don't understand it. I still am struggling with a lot of bitter feelings when I see people who are treating their kids like nuisances or getting pregnant easily when they really don't need to be getting pregnant. I'll get better. I know I will. I just wish I could stop the ache.
Enough of that train of thought. I'm in a wonderful mood today and I want to keep it that way. Off to do something positive.
I'm having one of those pause button moments. You know, one of those times you want to hit pause and have life be just like this moment for a while. My husband is home and he and my son are outside playing with light sabers. It's gorgeous outside. Just enough sun to make it beautiful and enough overcast to keep it cool. It's one of those moments that just feels great.
This pause feeling actually was brought on by my son. He didn't do anything special, but earlier he was standing in front of me and I couldn't help but see that he is starting to grow up. I knew he was growing up but there is a new something in his face that just got to me. I can't help but wonder where my baby has gone. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm about to lose all of those moments that make my day so special. Pretty soon he will not want my kisses or hugs as much, if ever. Soon he will be embarassed at my calling him my little man and telling him I love him in front of other people. Soon he will not want to snuggle with me and watch cartoons. This breaks my heart. I know I have to get over it, it's just hard. It all just seems to be happening too fast.
Other than this, things are most wonderful this weekend. The weather washed out our plans to go to the zoo and I think I was more disappointed than my son was. Instead my sister and her guy came over and we watched movies, drew on the sidewalk with chalk, ate amazing Italian food while enjoying the cool outside air, and played several games. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. We are hoping to be able to do the zoo next weekend.
This pause feeling actually was brought on by my son. He didn't do anything special, but earlier he was standing in front of me and I couldn't help but see that he is starting to grow up. I knew he was growing up but there is a new something in his face that just got to me. I can't help but wonder where my baby has gone. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm about to lose all of those moments that make my day so special. Pretty soon he will not want my kisses or hugs as much, if ever. Soon he will be embarassed at my calling him my little man and telling him I love him in front of other people. Soon he will not want to snuggle with me and watch cartoons. This breaks my heart. I know I have to get over it, it's just hard. It all just seems to be happening too fast.
Other than this, things are most wonderful this weekend. The weather washed out our plans to go to the zoo and I think I was more disappointed than my son was. Instead my sister and her guy came over and we watched movies, drew on the sidewalk with chalk, ate amazing Italian food while enjoying the cool outside air, and played several games. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. We are hoping to be able to do the zoo next weekend.
Why is it that my husband feels the need to say something he knows is going to upset me just seconds before he has to walk out the door? Not exactly a good way to start my day if he wants to come home to a sweet loving wife. It's not him that I am upset with when he brings up this particular subject. It's the way the military can never make up their mind about things or give you a yes or no when you really could use one. I just got mad he brought it up knowing I would get upset. Thankfully, I have some amazing friends that are always there for me when I need them. I don't know what I would do without them. I just hate that they all live so far away. some days I wish I could win the lottery so I could get them all together in one place for a few days. I have a feeling we would have a blast.
I meant to blog yesterday because it was just an interesting day. Nothing really major that defined it. Just my son being himself. We played and worked on homework. Had the most interesting conversation with my son. I really never imagined that I could have conversations like this. We were working on some math homework. They are learning addition and he was procrastinating as usual. He does it so often that his teacher came up with something that seems to make him work more quickly. She said that he needs to be a rabbit not a turtle because turtles are smart and quick and turtles are lazy. OK so I know that flies in the face of the tortoise and the hare story line but he hasn't read that and it works for him. I tell you this because it has something to do with our conversation. So in the middle of homework he just blurts out "I have to potty." and this is the conversation that follows.
Him: I have to potty.
Me: OK, well go!
Him: Okay.(Jumps up and starts out of the room then stops)Don't eat my homework!
Me:(confused)Why on Earth would I eat your homework?
Him: Don't eat my homework because if you eat paper it will make you really sick.
Me:(laughing)Got to the bathroom. I'm not going to eat your homework.
Him:(from the bathroom)I'm a rabbit. Rabbits hop up and down. They go boing boing boing(I imagine he was hopping)
Me: Rabbits need to stand still when they go potty.
Him: Oh, OK.
I'm telling you, I was cracking up by the end of it. He never ceases to amaze me with the things he comes up with.
About 15 minutes later my husband came home and my son yelled. "Daddy's Home!!! YAY!!!" as he was running to attack him. After that a good ten minutes taking turns shouting "I'm home!!!" and attacking each other. Moments like that make my day so much better.
I meant to blog yesterday because it was just an interesting day. Nothing really major that defined it. Just my son being himself. We played and worked on homework. Had the most interesting conversation with my son. I really never imagined that I could have conversations like this. We were working on some math homework. They are learning addition and he was procrastinating as usual. He does it so often that his teacher came up with something that seems to make him work more quickly. She said that he needs to be a rabbit not a turtle because turtles are smart and quick and turtles are lazy. OK so I know that flies in the face of the tortoise and the hare story line but he hasn't read that and it works for him. I tell you this because it has something to do with our conversation. So in the middle of homework he just blurts out "I have to potty." and this is the conversation that follows.
Him: I have to potty.
Me: OK, well go!
Him: Okay.(Jumps up and starts out of the room then stops)Don't eat my homework!
Me:(confused)Why on Earth would I eat your homework?
Him: Don't eat my homework because if you eat paper it will make you really sick.
Me:(laughing)Got to the bathroom. I'm not going to eat your homework.
Him:(from the bathroom)I'm a rabbit. Rabbits hop up and down. They go boing boing boing(I imagine he was hopping)
Me: Rabbits need to stand still when they go potty.
Him: Oh, OK.
I'm telling you, I was cracking up by the end of it. He never ceases to amaze me with the things he comes up with.
About 15 minutes later my husband came home and my son yelled. "Daddy's Home!!! YAY!!!" as he was running to attack him. After that a good ten minutes taking turns shouting "I'm home!!!" and attacking each other. Moments like that make my day so much better.