I am not in a good mood so, if you are looking for a cheery blog to read, go elsewhere. I need to vent and this seems like the safest place for me to do so.
I'm tired, in pain, and pmsing. My husband can be such an idiot some times. I love him but sometimes I swear he doesn't know a damn thing about people.
So I didn't sleep last night because I was having weird dreams where I was awake but not awake. It was as confusing as it sounds. Not a big deal though. Son spent the night with my sis so I could sleep this morning. Yeah right. That requires those stupid dreams to end and people to not be loudly running lawn equipment right outside my fence.
The pain..annoying face pain. right now I'd take all of that nerve pain back because at least they had a medicine for it. I'm used to it though so I'll suck it up and deal with it. Like I have a choice?
Hubby has appointment with eye doctors and calls me to give me the news. He can't have the surgery he really badly wanted, but it's no big deal. Yeah, like 'Im not hearing the total disappointment in his voice. I know he's disappointed, so of course I'm disappointed. This also means that he will be going in the field soon. It's only a week so in itself it's not a big deal. Don't send me messages bitching about how it's only a week. I know. I did my longer deployment and know the difference. It's not the week that I'm upset about. I'm upset because for the first time in YEARS I signed up to do something for myself. Totally selfishly for myself. I think I earned a night of grown up conversation over a book I've been wanting to read for several years now. Of course the simple fact that I want it means it's not going to happen. With DH now being in the field I've lost my babysitter and my transportation. I could probably get one but I'm not going to find both and I'm not one to ask people, other than family, to do something for me so I can do something for myself that is totally frivolous.
So all of this disappointment and pain and sleep deprivation is just piling on along with the hormone imbalance. Not a good combination. Did I mention my tylenol is in the car that my husband has with him? Yeah.
So he calls me to let me know he's going to be late. Woohoo! I can't figure out dinner because the thought of chewing makes me want to scream and I'm not going to have time to bake brownies and make cool ghosts with my son because my husband is going to be getting him late. Oh well. I mean what else can go wrong at this point. You'd think I'd know better than to think that way.
Hubby walks in the door and casually mentions that a neighbor he didn't know was telling him the cat we have taken in (it was abandoned by a prick who knew we liked the cat and was too lazy to walk across the fucking street to see if we wanted him)is sleeping on her car. Hubby says she was really nice about it which he translates as it not being a big deal. Um people don't say anything if it's not something they want fixed. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal. We have another cat that is really good and spends most of her time in the house. On the occasion she gets out, she avoids people like the plague. The one we took in is hard to keep in. He can open the screen door in my kitchen and gets out. Close it you're surely thinking...well I like not being so hot I'm sweating profusely and nearly passing out. So basically this cat is being a nuisance and I can't control it so I have to get rid of it. no big deal...or at least it shouldn't be but I'm totally in love with this cat. He is so cuddly and my son adores him. My husband is telling me it's not a big deal, we'll figure something out but we can't. We have two choices, be hot and hope the cat doesn't sneak out the front door or get rid of the cat that we have trouble controlling but adore. Hell of a choice.
That was the straw. I couldn't take it and started crying to which my husband tells me to go to bed. Yeah...that's going to make it all better. I can't sleep or it would have been done already and you've just told me I'm losing a piece of my family. Telling me to go to bed is not making me any happier. We had to make my son understand why we had to get rid of his favorite pet (he overheard us) and he took it better than I did. He is so great. We'll see how that goes after we get rid of him. Don't worry. We'll do it the right way. I don't just abandon pets on the side of the road.
I'm so hoping I can sleep tonight. I'm stuck eating some beans with tiny turkey dog pieces in it because I am not in the mood for soup and this was the closest I could get to soft. Not thrilled but I'll live. I'm just so ready for this day to be over. When are the good things going to start happening because I'm getting really tired of the shitty ones. This may all sound really petty to some of you, but there are other things going on. Things I can't even get sorted out in my head so I can't really vent them here. I just need a vacation or something. Right now I'd take a stiff drink but I couldn't afford it so I'm just screwed. Someone else have one for me?