Ok then
1/24/2008 02:01:00 PM | Author: Simply Jen
I didn't realize it was a week since I last posted. Wow. Honestly not a lot has happened in the week. We were supposed to have a fun game night Sunday night but Friday night I started getting one of the headaches I'm starting to be too familiar with. It got incredibly worse over Saturday so that evening my husband told me that we weren't going to do the game night if I wasn't completely better by Sunday morning. I wasn't in as much pain but I was so exhausted and out of energy so we canceled it and just vegged all day. We did the same thing Monday but more out of laziness than anything.
Tuesday I went to PWOC and I'm really loving it. The class I'm taking is called Intimacy with God and we are using the book with the same name by Cynthia Heald. It's going to be a very interesting study. I'm not going to be able to just sit back and watch. I'm going to have to participate and it's going to be really interesting.
Yesterday I had an appointment with a dermatologist for a skin condition I have. It's a pretty bad one I don't talk about too much because it's a little embarrassing. Anyway, I finally talked to my PCM and he sent me to a dermatologist. I couldn't have asked for a better appointment. I seriously don't do well with new doctors. I have been known to get into panic attack modes just going to the new doctor but this went really well. The doctor was a woman which was extremely helpful to me and she was very nice and easygoing. It didn't hurt that the appointment took 45 minutes from me walking in the door to leaving with a filled prescription in hand. Honestly only about 15 minutes total of that was me waiting for something and not all at once. The end result is we are trying an antibiotic therapy. The truth is that if this helps control it then I may be on it for the rest of my life. That's twice a day every day. I looked at the bottle today to see how long we were trying it for and I have enough with the current bottle and refills for the rest of the year. Yeah...wasn't expecting that. It really is worth it if it helps. I go back in a couple of months for a progress check and we'll go from there.
Nothing else really exciting going on. The friend I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that I had gotten her kids called me a few days later to tell me she was mad at me because I "disrespected her" and argued that she never had an attitude with me or yelled at her kids. I told her I wasn't going to argue with her about what happened. It was over with and I was moving on. She is out of state right now and I'm hoping it's blown over by the time she gets back. I'm just dealing with her as she is now but I'm not getting walked all over anymore. She may need her drama but that doesn't mean I have to put up with it.
The rest of my week looks a little bland. I really need to do major housework so I'll be busy with that. My sister's fiance is leaving today for a week so I'll be hanging out with her some and my hubby has guard duty starting tomorrow at 6pm so I won't see him from about noon tomorrow (his lunch break) until sometime Saturday. I'm not too upset about it. Just annoyed because he also has chapel duty on Sunday morning. Thankfully he is getting Monday off.
Steps
1/15/2008 01:07:00 AM | Author: Simply Jen
I did two things today that I had never done before. One of the things I did was a big step for me.
The first was pretty insignificant. I bought myself three pairs of shoes just because I liked them. I have never bought three pairs of shoes that were not flip flops or some for other people. I technically bought 5 pairs but two were for my sister's birthday. I spent 54 dollars for 5 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of no show socks. How awesome is that??
The second thing was a pretty big deal for me. I am the type of person that will get totally ticked off with someone and hold my tongue. I swear I have "walk all over me" tattooed on my forehead. I went to pick up my son from the bus and one of my friends wasn't there to get her two kids. I took them and started calling her right away. She wouldn't answer her cell and I didn't have her new home phone number. I was a little annoyed she wouldn't answer her phone. It wasn't going straight to voice mail so I was pretty sure it was ringing. This scenario went on for 30 minutes before she answered! I was so pissed that at one point I sent her a text message that said "Answer your damn phone woman!" just to shock her into actually calling me back. It's shocking for me to talk to a friend like that. Heck, I don't talk to anyone like that. It didn't work though since she still took about 20 more minutes to show any life. Anyway. I had her kids give me there school folders so I could see if there was a phone number in it that I could reach her at. When she was on my road, I started to put things away. The son's notebook fell out of his folder and then I went to go get it (the exact same time she was getting out of her car) the folder blew away with the contents of it. The first words out of her mouth were to cuss at her son since she thought he had been the one to take it out. I yelled at her "don't you dare yell at him. It was my fault!" and I was pissed. When we found the papers and were walking back to the house, she started fussing at him for taking the folder out of the bag and I stopped her right there. I told her that I had asked him for it because I didn't have the home phone number and that SHE wasn't answering her phone. She didn't apologize to her son but started in an annoyed tone on me.."I never put my number in there." I was so far beyond mad that I just laid into her. "I didn't know that! What the hell was I supposed to do? I was worried and couldn't reach you so I was doing the only thing I could think of. When your a few minutes late I've been understanding. When you call and can't make it in time, that's fine. When you don't show up and don't answer for 30 MINUTES what the hell am I supposed to do?" She apologized and I just said I was glad I was there because I had thought about picking my son up from school and no one would have been there. She then proceeded to tell me that it would have been fine. They would have just taken them back to school and they would have called her. How in the hell is that fine???? I started to fuss at her about that attitude but she hightailed it out of here. I think she knew what was coming. She called me about ten minutes later apologizing because she loves me and doesn't want me mad at her(she was responding to the text message.) I told her I was fine but she needed to get it together basically. She gave me a lot of excuses, some of which are valid but basically it's the same stuff she always pulls. With her there is always an excuse when overall she needs to do something to get her act together because she is all that those kids have and she is the adult.
I am so proud of myself for not just letting her get away with all of this. I guess I had just finally hit the point where enough was more than enough and I exploded. I honestly felt no guilt afterwards, which I usually would have. Maybe I'm finally growing a spine.
I'm taking a step towards growing a little bit more of one tomorrow. I'm going to a group bible study where I don't know a majority of the women. This is a big deal for me because I am not good in situations where I don't know people. Hopefully it will go well. I'm seriously fighting everything in me that wants to stay home safe in my pjs.I will be brave!
Just talking it out
1/14/2008 01:06:00 AM | Author: Simply Jen
Today was an interesting day. I don't know how any of it is really connected so it's going to come out as a big ramble.
We went to chapel this morning and the chaplain who was preaching today mentioned how the 22nd of this month was the anniversary of Roe vs Wade. As a Southern Baptist, we have always had "Sanctity of Life Sunday" the Sunday before this anniversary. It wasn't a day I remembered easily until the year I lost my baby. This morning, when he mentioned it, it occurred to me that for the first time in 8 years, I missed my angel baby's birthday. I started crying. I had this feeling of being a horrible parent. I don't go a day without remembering him and usually his birthday is a little hard for me. I just had a moment of freaking out because I feel like I forgot. That day was such a big day in my life. It really changed me in a lot of ways and ripped out a pretty good chunk of my heart so how do you just forget? I think I've gotten over most of the initial guilt and am looking at it as I have healed a good bit. So we'll end that portion of the day by saying "Happy Birthday, my sweet angel. We love you!"

We spent the afternoon playing games at my sister's house. We had the most fun with two new games. One is called Apples to Apples and the other is Fluxx. It was really great to just hang out and play games. I also love how my son is able to so easily entertain himself. He was entertaining all of us in the process. He is just so much fun to watch. My nephew was just laying on the floor watching my son make noises and play in his pretend world.
My nephew was so cute. He's 6 months old and is almost crawling. He gets one knee forward but as he moves the other one, he falls. He is going to get it very soon. He is so cute!
We all got hungry so we decided to go somewhere to eat. When we got there they wait was an hour long and my son needed to start his nightly routine in about an hour so waiting was definitely not an option. My sister's fiance started naming all of these places but nothing was sounding good at all. My stomach was sour from taking my medicine without bread or milk last night. I could tell my sister was getting annoyed and I was annoyed because, aside from this place, I couldn't think of anything I wanted! I hate when I'm like that. I finally told them we would just get something at home and they could go do whatever they wanted. I didn't want to hold them up. My sister seemed perturbed but I just had to save my sanity. Of course my son starts crying because he didn't understand why we couldn't wait for our turn so we asked him what he wanted. He wanted a cheeseburger. I gave him three choices and he picked one that happens to have awesome salads so I was happy. My husband was pretty happy about the choice as well and we grabbed something from there. I got an ice cream treat they are famous for and it was just the trick at settling my sour stomach. The salad was extremely fresh and awesome so I am now one happy woman.
Well hubby wants to play some ghost recon and little man is in bed so I'm wrapping this up.
Did I mention tomorrow is the first day back at school after the holiday break? Can we say FREEDOM? Well at least for a few hours. I am SO ready.
Unexpected guest
1/10/2008 02:06:00 AM | Author: Simply Jen
My sister showed up at my door around 9 this morning. I hadn't even made it downstairs yet so I was very shocked. I haven't seen her for about a month so it was good to see her even if it was very unexpected. We were on strict water restrictions (they were working on the water main)so she enticed me to go to her house for a while by throwing a nice long shower in the mix. It was really nice. I was able to hang out with her while getting to play with my adorable nephew.
My son did something great today. Today he read an entire book by himself. It was a baby book but he read it all with no help.It was so cute. He picked it up and started reading it to his baby cousin. I was so proud of him. Now he can't keep pretending he doesn't know how to read. Knowing this, I will push him a little harder. It was also the first time he's put forth effort in playing with my nephew. He's pretty much been scared to get near him since he was born.
Well that was pretty much my day. I'm hoping I'll be able to drag my husband to the North Shore tomorrow. they are predicting the biggest waves of the season and I have to see that and get some pictures.
That Darn Cat
1/08/2008 03:08:00 AM | Author: Simply Jen
One of my cats is trying to seriously traumatize me. I understand that cats have hunting instincts but she is just taking it too far.
Over the past few weeks, my sweet little cat has brought three birds into my house. Two of them were still alive! The first one she brought in was a good sized bird and she had it by the wing. I didn't know she had it. I just saw her playing with something under the coffee table and went to see what it was. I scared her and the bird went flying. It spent a good ten minutes behind my Christmas tree bashing into the window trying to get out. I had opened the screen but had to give it a little push to make it out the window. Of course I had to first lock my cat in the bathroom and she didn't like that.
The second time she brought in a little bird and was playing with it. I just saw her spasing out like she does when she's playing with something. My son was the one who realized it was a bird. Unfortunately it was either a baby or one of the small variety we have here and it's neck was broken so I had to dispose of it. My son asked me later in the day if the bird was all better now and I just about broke down crying at how sad he was when I had to tell him that he wasn't.
Today she brought in another good sized bird. Thankfully, my son wasn't home because this time was the worst. She had the bird under the coffee table again. I found this out when I heard the bird crying, for lack of a better word. It broke my heart. I did everything I could to get my cat to at least take it outside. She took it out and it was still crying so I went and grabbed my cat and brought her in. I just couldn't take it. I couldn't let her kill that bird and do nothing. It was still breathing but wasn't really moving so I didn't know what to do. When my hubby got home, I had him go to clean up what I assumed would be a dead bird but all he found was a few feathers so I'm guessing it was just stunned.
I know cats are hunters, but she is cruel. She plays with them for a long time before killing them. I have heard of cats bringing dead animals as gifts but she isn't doing that. She is seriously bringing them in to play with like my son would a toy. I can't handle this.
We have tried our best to make her an inside cat and she finds ways out. There are so many reasons this latest bird craze of hers is a bad thing. My son doesn't need to see this and I really can't take it either. it's disgusting and I really don't want birds in my house. She had done it once or twice before and it upset me but it's becoming too frequent. It came down to me telling my husband that if she does it again we are going to have to find her a new home. I feel horrible for being this way but it is bordering on traumatizing for me. I love my baby girl to death but enough is enough. Am I a horrible person for wanting to get rid of her if she keeps this up?
Lazy Sunday
1/06/2008 08:13:00 PM | Author: Simply Jen
Nothing really exciting to report. I finished a book I had started several months back and forgotten about. It's called "For Women Only:What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men" by Shaunti Feldhahn. It's a really great book and I learned so much about the way my husband's brain works.
Other than that, nothing. I spend the day on the couch feeling like crap thanks to an antibiotic I'm taking. We also watched Hairspray. I love love love that movie. It was a great Christmas present. I am sure I'll be watching it a lot. John Travolta was awesome as Mrs. Turnblad and Christopher Walken cracked me up. Genius!
Environment and babble
1/06/2008 01:08:00 AM | Author: Simply Jen
Today was a bit of a lazy day. We all woke up fairly late and I was dragging butt all day. The highlight of my day was going to the commissary. My son was actually well behaved and I wasn't getting run over with a cart every five minutes, so I was happy. We've started using green bags for our groceries and I never realized how many bags we used on our shopping trips. We have 9 green bags and they fill those twice as much as they would a regular bag. We did end up with one plastic bag because I didn't have enough green bags. I'll fix that next time. Just think about it though. 9 bags filled to double the amount a plastic bag would hold and I still needed one plastic bag. The bag of canned goods would have been two bags and double bagged. That's a lot of plastic.
They are talking about banning plastic bags on this island for companies that make over a certain amount of money a year. Think Walmart and grocery stores. I'm not sure exactly where I stand on that, but I don't think less bags would be a horrible thing. Walmart needs to lower the cost of their bags. They are smaller than the ones we bought at the commissary but cost 40 cents more. I wonder how much they cost on the mainland.
In other news, I think my son is about to have a major growth spurt. For about a week and half we couldn't get him to eat anything and then yesterday he started eating every couple of hours. He's also pudging up a little. Usually he will start looking a little chubby and then shoot up. Every since he got his hair cut, he's looking so much more grown up. It's fun to watch but at the same time I am sad about losing my baby.
"Wicked" and other stuff.
1/04/2008 03:38:00 PM | Author: Simply Jen
I've been reading the book Wicked:The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire and I have to say I am disappointed. I have the musical soundtrack and we've all seen the Wizard of Oz so I was expecting something a little along the lines of those two but it couldn't be more opposite. It is very dark and, in a lot of places, crude. I understand the need for some of the darkness. It explains how she became to be known as wicked. I just feel like there are a lot of things that could be done better or be done with out. One of my first peeves was the use of the word f**k. Now, in general, I don't care for the word. That is not my issue with it. It was totally out of place. This is a book about a far off land that is so very different from our own and that is the best he could do for an expletive? Give me a break. Show a little imagination. There are a lot of parts in the book that feel that way. Overall, it's just disappointing. I will finish the book just to see how he ends it, but I don't plan on buying any of his other books any time soon. I will admit that it makes me want to read the the book by L. Frank Baum that started it all.
Yesterday I did go through an interesting pictorial book on Oahu's North Shore. My husband bought me one that was more just images of the North Shore and one that is a History of the North Shore. It has a lot of photographs that are much older and is really well written with the history of the area we are so near to. I'm excited to finish it tonight as it isn't very long.
So far, my reading goals are off to a good start.
We have sunshine!!!
1/03/2008 01:53:00 PM | Author: Simply Jen
Yes people, the sun is actually shinning today. I have so missed the sun over the past month. We usually haven't had a real rainy season until February or so but this year it started the end of November and wouldn't let up. My son and I will definitely be taking advantage of the sun in a few minutes. He has been dying for some time on his scooter and I just am glad to see the sun. Oddly enough, it's still raining. It's a phenomenon I will never understand. It's gorgeous out but there is a light rain going on. Barely noticeable if you are standing in it, but it's there all the same.

I'm doing another one of those photography portfolio contests over the next ten weeks. I wish I had waited to sign up because I'm still having a hard time getting used to the new camera. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but everything is coming out blurry. I think I'll have to spend a few hours tonight or tomorrow reading through the manual. Maybe I'll take it to the doctors with me tomorrow. Lord knows I usually have plenty of waiting time there. I wonder if anyone makes a dictionary that is full of all of the confusing terms that are waiting for me in there.

My baby sister turns 24 today. I don't know that she likes it when I call her my baby sister but that's what she is, even with a baby of her own now. I am hoping this year is as spectacular as she wants it to be. She's getting married in April and we are flying to Louisiana to go to her wedding. I'm really excited for her. I just hope she's really ready for the forever of it all.
New Year, New Start.
1/02/2008 04:50:00 PM | Author: Simply Jen
It's a new year so I thought it might be a good time to start posting again. My life isn't a lot more interesting, but maybe I can find something to talk about.

I know a lot of people do resolutions and, while I do have a few things I would like to accomplish, I'm not sure if I would call them resolutions. Basically they are just things I would like to improve.

-I want to find a way to minimize stress in my life or at least find a way to deal with the stress more effectively. I'm hoping this will help with the headaches and things of that nature. It will also make me a little easier to be around. I tend to be entirely too stressed out.

-I want to be a better housewife. I've gotten the support and love and all of that down and really my husband doesn't complain. I just feel like I need to get off my butt more and do more productive things around the house. I will never be the "have his meal on the table when he gets home" type of wife. It's not even a reasonable expectation with him never getting home at the same time. I can make sure that we can have guests over without freaking out and that we can have a comfortable home to live in. I guess it's more for me than him since he'd gladly live with the way things are now.

-I want to read more. I love to read and always feel a little sharper when I read regularly. I know I can't sit down and read like I did before or I'd never get anything done, but I can try to find about two hours a week to read. My goal would be to read two books a month minimum. I also want to try and get in some sort of bible reading/study every day.

-I want to be more outgoing. I need to break out of my shell. I'm such a homebody and get really anxious around people I don't know. I always feel like I don't belong or fit in. I need to get over that. I plan on attending PWOC(protestant women of the chapel) on a regular basis and actually participating. I know quite a few women there and really like them so I don't see why I can't start there.

-I want to exercise more regularly and stick to a healthier diet. I want to be sure that there are no roadblocks on my end for the weight loss surgery when we get to Kansas. I can't control what the doctors do but I can work on myself.

-I want to be more financially responsible. We are going to be taking a major pay cut when we move and I want us to be ready for it. I want to have enough money saved that we don't have to stress for our two trips and move this year.

If you made it this far, I'm impressed and thank you. I hope that everyone has a wonderful year and your own goals are met.