Just Simply Jen

I did two things today that I had never done before. One of the things I did was a big step for me.
The first was pretty insignificant. I bought myself three pairs of shoes just because I liked them. I have never bought three pairs of shoes that were not flip flops or some for other people. I technically bought 5 pairs but two were for my sister's birthday. I spent 54 dollars for 5 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of no show socks. How awesome is that??
The second thing was a pretty big deal for me. I am the type of person that will get totally ticked off with someone and hold my tongue. I swear I have "walk all over me" tattooed on my forehead. I went to pick up my son from the bus and one of my friends wasn't there to get her two kids. I took them and started calling her right away. She wouldn't answer her cell and I didn't have her new home phone number. I was a little annoyed she wouldn't answer her phone. It wasn't going straight to voice mail so I was pretty sure it was ringing. This scenario went on for 30 minutes before she answered! I was so pissed that at one point I sent her a text message that said "Answer your damn phone woman!" just to shock her into actually calling me back. It's shocking for me to talk to a friend like that. Heck, I don't talk to anyone like that. It didn't work though since she still took about 20 more minutes to show any life. Anyway. I had her kids give me there school folders so I could see if there was a phone number in it that I could reach her at. When she was on my road, I started to put things away. The son's notebook fell out of his folder and then I went to go get it (the exact same time she was getting out of her car) the folder blew away with the contents of it. The first words out of her mouth were to cuss at her son since she thought he had been the one to take it out. I yelled at her "don't you dare yell at him. It was my fault!" and I was pissed. When we found the papers and were walking back to the house, she started fussing at him for taking the folder out of the bag and I stopped her right there. I told her that I had asked him for it because I didn't have the home phone number and that SHE wasn't answering her phone. She didn't apologize to her son but started in an annoyed tone on me.."I never put my number in there." I was so far beyond mad that I just laid into her. "I didn't know that! What the hell was I supposed to do? I was worried and couldn't reach you so I was doing the only thing I could think of. When your a few minutes late I've been understanding. When you call and can't make it in time, that's fine. When you don't show up and don't answer for 30 MINUTES what the hell am I supposed to do?" She apologized and I just said I was glad I was there because I had thought about picking my son up from school and no one would have been there. She then proceeded to tell me that it would have been fine. They would have just taken them back to school and they would have called her. How in the hell is that fine???? I started to fuss at her about that attitude but she hightailed it out of here. I think she knew what was coming. She called me about ten minutes later apologizing because she loves me and doesn't want me mad at her(she was responding to the text message.) I told her I was fine but she needed to get it together basically. She gave me a lot of excuses, some of which are valid but basically it's the same stuff she always pulls. With her there is always an excuse when overall she needs to do something to get her act together because she is all that those kids have and she is the adult.
I am so proud of myself for not just letting her get away with all of this. I guess I had just finally hit the point where enough was more than enough and I exploded. I honestly felt no guilt afterwards, which I usually would have. Maybe I'm finally growing a spine.
I'm taking a step towards growing a little bit more of one tomorrow. I'm going to a group bible study where I don't know a majority of the women. This is a big deal for me because I am not good in situations where I don't know people. Hopefully it will go well. I'm seriously fighting everything in me that wants to stay home safe in my pjs.I will be brave!