Just Simply Jen

This morning I spent almost three hours talking to my husband online. That is a miracle considering he was in an internet cafe and usually we only get 30 minutes. We are hoping he will have his own internet soon so we will be able to talk longer more often. I loved being about to talk to him so much this morning. It was almost like he was here again in some way. We talked about almost everything you can imagine. I even worked up the nerve to talk to him about the baby issue and I am so glad I did.
I sort of started it off by telling him I had to ask him a question and if he didn't have an answer, I just needed a promise he would give it some thought. I don't know what he was expecting, but it sure wasn't "Do you want us to have another baby?" He was totally shocked, but handled it very well. His response was;

you did have some health problems with G and with M.. so, I'd like to make sure that you were good to go.. well.. as much as we can.. before we do. However, if God blesses us with a child then.. i"m not going to argue. And if we don't.. I'll be ok with that too. Being a father to G is one of the most fulfilling things in the world.. I know it would be a blessing to have another

He asked me where this was coming from and I couldn't think of a good way to put it so I just gave him the link to my blog entry. He responded by saying he didn't realize how strongly or deeply I felt then jokingly mentioned that we were going to be busy when he came home for R&R. I had to be sure that he wasn't just saying that to make me feel better or because he wanted me to have what I wanted. He assured me he wasn't.
I think if we can't have another child then I will have to grieve that loss, but I will be alright. My son is amazing and I couldn't imagine my life without him. I'd like to be able to pee without him bursting in on me, but overall I can't imagine him not being here. I guess we will see what happens. Just knowing he is willing to try and really try means a lot to me. He mentioned starting on R&R but I think if it happens then it will not be because I'm planning around cycles or however that works.(don't worry, I plan on educating myself.) This may sound crude, but after that many months of nothing, all I'm going to be concerned with is getting me some. I'm going a little nutty without him. I honestly think he's going to be the same way...ok so after our conversations, I know he will be feeling the same.
Thank you so much everyone for letting me pour my heart out and for being wonderful to me. I am so grateful for the friends I have.