I miss being in bed by 9 pm. Especially when 5:30 am seems to come so very early. Thankfully tomorrow is Saturday and my little man should sleep in at least until 7 if I'm lucky. Why am I not in bed? I surely have nothing stopping me. He went to bed hours ago. So tired he crashed sprawled half on half off the bed. There's really only one reason. I'm lonely.
I was trying to talk to a friend about this earlier and all she could seem to do was tell me to get information about reintegration and what to expect and that I should think about how soon it is and be happy with that. *sighs* How soon it is seems to be the problem. I feel so close and yet so far away. This is honestly how I felt right before R&R but magnified. I'm so excited but I get so lonely because it's not soon enough. I'm so pathetic. As for the reintegration information...everything I hear scares the crap out of me, so I'd rather not read that stuff. Instead of expecting things, I'm just going to expect nothing. Thankfully I have friends that have been through this and are in marriages more like mine and my husband's. They have been the most help in keeping me realistic without scaring me to death. I know I'll get through this phase and I'll be fine. I just needed to get this out of my head so hopefully I will get some sleep tonight.
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1 comments:
I hope you got some sleep. {{{hugs}}}}
And, yeah... I got a reintegration guide that scared the living crap out of me. Literally, made me cry and wonder why bother. I can honestly say, none of it really came into play in any real way. The only thing that came close was my husband acting like a guest in our home.... but I had moved while he was away and he had never stepped foot in the house so really, it was like he was a guest here at first. Didn't take long for him to make it his own though.