Just Simply Jen

I went to the park today and I met a woman who was there with her twin boys. They are 3 years old and bundles of energy. I made a comment that I didn't know how she did it and she said to me "I don't know what it is like to raise just one so I can't really compare." This reminded me of one of the comments that I got a lot when my husband was gone for both his initial training and then his deployment. "I don't know how you do it by yourself for so long." This is a statement that just about every military spouse has probably heard at least once in their married life as well as most single parents. The first person to ever say it to me was my husband's aunt when he was in basic training. I remember looking at her with a look of confusion and saying "What other choice do I have?" To me there was no other choice. Believe it or not, the world doesn't just completely come to a halt when your spouse leaves for any amount of time. Some days you may feel like it is going to but sure enough, when you wake up the next morning, it's still turning.
I know that five years ago I would have never thought I could make it as a military spouse, but here I am two years in the military world and somehow I'm still standing. It all goes back to that one truth. What choice do I have? My son still needs someone to care for him. The cat and fish still need to be fed. Bills still have to be paid and the trash has to go out. Life is still there and you are the one responsible for it. This is true no matter who you are or what your spouse does, so why should it be any different for me just because my husband is gone for longer periods of time. What makes you think that life is just going to put itself on hold for me just so I can throw a pity party. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.
Another thing I've noticed is that a lot of people I know, including military spouses, underestimate their strength. I know I am guilty of this at times. It is so hard to face something as big as being left alone for a year in a new place and not feel a little overwhelmed, but if you just remember that you just need to put one foot in front of the other and do what you have to do, then you will be ok. It's not going to be easy. Some days it will seem nearly impossible, but you can get through it. It's just at some point we had to make a decision that our marriage and our family was the most important thing and this was the situation we were dealt so we just put on our own pair of combat boots and did what we had to do.
Life is what you make of it no matter who you are or what your spouse does. Some people just choose to make more out of it than others. I like to think that most people are handed lemons and make lemonade, but military wives are handed lemons and find a way to turn them into a four course meal.
I just hope someone will remind me that I said all of this next time I'm freaking out saying I can't do it.